me no photogenic..

Talking about photography..i'm not good in either taking photos or good looking in photo (muka bukannya handsome) hehe..

So i tried out my bro's sony cam last night..

So me no photogenic..got it??

Sleeping pics..hehe..

feel..

It has been quite some time i felt tat comfortable like tonight..

The feeling is indescribable by words..

I dunno how to explain but i just felt very very comfortable..

I wish the moment won't end and the clock would stop tickling..

I'm happy..

smile..

I'm smiling and laughing..

'cause AM OK..

Anything happened bad in the past i just take them as lessons..

As alex said..we cannot forget past..

'cause we need to remember past to improve your future..

Yup..i screwed my test 1..

But test 2 is coming up in no time..

If i work very hard for test 2..

Everything is paid up..

So..

Everything will be fine..

Smile smile..

Happy moments will never be erased..

And i WAS and AM happy..

Don't worry..

monster..

Basically i FUCKED UP my day (sorry for the rude word but i can't find a better phrase to describe today)

No elaboration..no explanation..i'm so so so so so tired of everything..

Wondering and wandering..

"yu han wat the hell is going on??"

Today i'm not me..

Today i'm others..

I can't help myself thinking of those things..

Finally frustration almost took over my soul..

It has been some time i lost my temper..

I managed to calm myself..

I didn't do it in front of my frenz..

I walked away..

Walked under the hot sun..

Sweating alot..

Dun worry..

I'm still conscious..

A conscious monster..

I hereby said tat I SCREWED MY TEST 1!!

Efforts are not enough after all..

I won't cry..

I won't blame..

Like i said "efforts are not enough!!"

Ps : I dare not tell you..but you did cheer me up..thx and sorry again..

lesson..

Lesson learnt :

"how to accept failures as lessons
and not to afraid to get up to start everything over again.."

am so numb..

I know i should not complain now..but i'm so so disappointed with myself..but i kept quiet 'cause this is none of the business of others..if i keep on complaining and end up with others consoling you which is unnecessary..

Argh..i dunno..i'm so numb..i got no feeling today..when i saw the marks..not only dulan but disappointment really pierced thru' my heart..yup..i was laughing and smiling and acted nothing happened..but..

I really got no mood today..i'm so down till i got no feeling..

Blame no one but myself..i told myself..

Not dulan..not frustrated..not angry..not sad either for today..

Today i'm numb..

Tat's it..

High expectation comes with high disappointment..remember tat..

Hard works come with good results..

Is just tat i'm not hardworking enough!!

sneeze again..

All of the sudden..the condition of my body just changed in 180 degree..sigh sigh sigh..

I hate running nose tat much..it reminds me of one of the character in crayon shin chan whose mucous always flows out his nose..hehe..am looked like a kid right??

Again my desk is full of tissues despite of all the books..pc..rubbish..hardly find a place for me to write..have to dig a hole in order to write..LOL..

Now is 2.30am d..still not yet sleepy due to the-whole-day-sleeping..hehe..currently is so worried of the drama..sigh..dunno how to express..it's so hard to become a sissy guy..salute "those" people la..talking in extremely high pitch really hurt my throat alot..

Ok then..continue my study la..oh man..i've lost touch of chemistry and physics..so doomed..sigh sigh sigh again..



Ps : i'm glad you didn't say no..

is it too late to know??

I have been acting so careless and so reckless recently until i didn't even notice it!! damn..really sorry..i don't mean it..why am i acting so stupidly!! wtf!!

I can't even notice something tat's so obvious..dulan..

I'm really sorry..i'm really not acting now..

At this time..only the "true" by ryan can represent my feeling..

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me
You might think I don't look
But deep inside
In the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you
I'm weak
Its true
'cause i'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
'cause my heart keeps falling faster
Ive waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life i've waited
This is true
You don't know what you do
Every time you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak
Its true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know u met me?
Ive waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try anything to be with you
All my life i've waited
This is true
I know when I go ill be on my way to you
The way thats true
Ive waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try anything to be with you
All my life i've waited
This is true

ryan cabrera wrote this love song.. about the early stage of a relationship..

where you like someone and you got the feeling tat the someone likes you too..
but you're unsure and you're afraid of knowing the true answer..
you're scared of being hurt by the truth..
but you wanna be with her..

impossible..

Ahuh..last night i just went to 2 jungleS..hehe..but i still prefer the 1st jungle..

Went to Rum Jungle which was just an ok for me..the songs were ok ok and the DJ is quite cute for your information but very lala..

Basically..the loud music made me dizzy for whole night and i don't really wanna elaborate the whole story about the clubbing..i realized tat i'm so so sentimental..and the evil part was they forced me to dance!! omg..can you imagine i dance?? yup i did perform modern jazz before but disco dance isn't my type..haha..

End of the clubbing story and i wasn't drunk..i also dunno wat happened..maybe i drank the wrong beer which was shandy??who knows?? haha.. next time we go to pub where got bands instead of dancing club!! tat's much much sentimental where you can enjoy listening to wat songs you like..right?? but thx for everyone who brought me there to experience huh??

We were supposed to have our moral test in the afternoon but but but it was canceled..tat means DULAN la..i memorized the whole lecture notes or maybe 3/4 of the lecture notes till 3am and it was just being canceled like tat!! arghhh..chill chill..maybe tat's a test of examining our values of patience and forgiveness *i doubt*

The weather is hot now and the rain just won't drop..before i came here people told me tat ipoh is a rainy place but they said UTP is at tronoh..so tat means i'm being placed in a non-rainy place..sigh sigh sigh..

Feeling like standing in the middle of somewhere during a heavy downpour where you can wash away your woes and worries..isn't tat very fun?? still waiting for the day..am waiting patiently..

Recently people around me kept on repeating the word "impossible"..this reminds me of adidas and wat soul last time told me..

The trademark of adidas as we can always see is "impossible is nothing" right??

And soul told me once tat the word impossible = I M possible..

Aren't these two statements are true?? if you said it's impossible but the probability will never be zero percent where the situation is hopeless..

We often lose faith in ourselves or even to others..this is impossible and tat's a miracle if tat thing happens..yeah..i admit i did tat all the time 'cause i'm afraid of the having bigger disappointment when i have high expectation..

But sometimes i like to face the impossibilities..if you said it's impossible..i have the urge to make it possible..

impossible is nothing..

happy..

Today i'm very very very happy *in Dr. Brahim's tone* ahh..we still can't stop intimating him..it's so fun and he is so cute and funny especially his eyebrows..LOL..this is a compliment k..tat's why engineering math will never be boring..

Happy mode..whole day occupied with happiness except a small small part of the day which wouldn't affect me at all!!

Currently studying moral studies which is so so so "interesting"..ya right..interesting konon..got tons of definitions are waiting for me to memorize and the test is held on this friday!! wtf..dulan lo..

Tonight is the 1st night i used my highlighter in UTP!! tat means i can't concentrate at all..sigh sigh sigh..

My heart is into 2 songs le.."i will remember you" and "true" by ryan cabrera..

OMG!! i'm so into the acoustic version and the lyrics..damn..i'm supposed to read my moral now but i ended up by blogging..too boring d..you can't BLAME me!!

Ryan Cabrera - True
Album: Take It All Away


I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me
You might think I don't look
But deep inside
In the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you
I'm weak
Its true
'cause i'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
'cause my heart keeps falling faster
Ive waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life i've waited
This is true
You don't know what you do
Every time you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak
Its true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know u met me?
Ive waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try anything to be with you
All my life i've waited
This is true
I know when I go ill be on my way to you
The way thats true
Ive waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try anything to be with you
All my life i've waited
This is true






I Will Remember You

Eight years later
Time goes by fast
Got my memories
And they will last
I try to keep it simple cause i hate goodbyes
I try to keep it simple by telling myself that
I, i will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much i could say
But words get in the way so
We're not together
I will remember you
I will remember you
We're a picture in my mind
When i want to find you
I just close my eyes
You'll never be that far from me
So don't say goodbye cause
You'll never be that far from me
I'm telling myself that
I, i will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much i could say
But words get in the way so
We're not together
I will remember you
You were there when i needed a friend
Thank you, thank you
I never told you how much that meant
Gotta thank you, thank you
I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much i could say
But words get in the way so
I, i will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much i could say
But words get in the way so
We're not together, i will remember
We're not together, i will remember you
Yeah, i will remember you

Am going to repeat again..these songs are damn freaking nice..i can't stop myself from listening to them..addicted..haha..

By the way..edmund found me avril lavinge's "when you're gone" acoustic version which i lost it long long time ago..

I can't stop humming the songs over and over again..

Am happy!!

still remember??

Currently i'm rubbing my eyes and yawning as if i can eat whole loaf of bread at once..like a baby huh?? LOL..

I'm so so tired..i slept not more than 3hours doing physics and the Mr Lai didn't even touch it today..damn dulan lo..but never mind..sabar sabar..

It's weird tat when you close your eyes..memory flashes back..

Come to think..i came from a nobody-bothers-or-even-knows and not-in-the-map school and today i'm in UTP..hardly can believe huh?? tat's why i always say i'm lucky..hehe..

Come to think..the day i came to UTP just after the replacement of JPA interview in Cyberjaya..damn tired 'cause of the pc fair job and i was totally down for 2days in UTP Educamp..couldn't help myself..

Come to think..the day i started my job in MIFF where i got scolded like or even worse than a homeless dog..

Come to think..i got the result from the Petronas official website tat i got into UTP and i was shouting in my heart and sent a sms with "wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf" to someone..haha..

Come to think..the moments i spent before i came here..2months are indeed short but i had fun..

Come to think..the morning i leave my home with my formal attire to UTP and my dad's car broke down..rushing to UTP by taking taxi luckily i was not late..

Come to think..the moment where YB they all spoke to me in chancellor hall "you got roommate or not??" "come to join us want or not??" i nod and cut the queue..hehe..

Come to think..the 1st impression on my roommate Ang Ben Li..funny man..i thought i got a boring 1 but he is not the typical NERD!!

Come to think..the 1st time we were divided into groups and met new frenz where i intorduced myself as a guy who likes to sleep..LOL..

Come to think..the nights we were singing UTP and Petronas songs in main hall with all the scoldings by the facees..

Come to think..the day i wore the stupid 80ringgit-worth batik like a stupid guy..

Come to think..the evening i helped them to do the props stuff at the last min and i acted a lemon tree on stage!!

Come to think..the few seconds i asked for someone's number..so embarrassing..swt..

Come to think..the whole MAS where we were walking like there's no tomorrow..

Come to think..the 1st lecture in UTP is canceled after all the enthusiasm of studying..

Come to think..the day we went to ipoh and ate the char keow teow..and found lotsa shops in jusco which really broadened my narrow mind..

Come to think..the moments in sports complex were so crazy and fun..i played till my shoes got 2 big holes on each side..

Come to think..the magnificent night when the olympic opening ceremony was held..

Come to think..the competition in Engineering Math lectures and all the quizzes Dr Brahim gave..

Come to think..the nights i spent in front of my pc squeezing my brain for solutions..

Come to think..the day where i locked myself outside of the room..

Come to think..the day i 1st ate the sotong in V5 and the mango juice..damn nice man..

Come to think..the 1st met a very very cute doggy in the midnight..it has completely captured my heart..haha..

Come to think..my 1st reaction when i saw Avril Lavinge with her pink guitar..WTF!! i was crazy of her obviously!!

Come to think..the moments tat i can't breathe and sick for whole week..

Come to think..the sleepless nights i spent to finish my stuffs..

Come to think..the evening tat i felt the rain droplets was so cooling..indescribable..

Come to think..i'm still in front of the pc right now!!

Come to think..it was so fun and happy..

Come to think..i blog 'cause i got no1 to talk to and this is where i say everything..

Am so tired of thinking but i'm very happy for no reasons..
once again..
I'M HAPPY!!

random..

Have been posting all the serious stuffs tat are happening in UTP..if you guys read it also boring and even myself also sien..plan to post something different..


THINGS TAT YOU SHOULD NEVER DO or SAY IN FRONT OF the LADIES..

1. never ever ask about their age 'cause they are so so so afraid of aging..
2. if you know their age..don't ask about their birth date 'cause got 2 situations:
* if your birthday is later than them you won't get the answer from them at all..
* if your birthday is lucky enough later than them they'll be extremely happy and call you uncle..
3. do not ever talk about how pretty the other gals are 'cause you're dealing in front of girls..
4. do not mention about the word "fat" which is extremely sensitive to gals..
5. do not ask about their weight but do ask them about the hottest guy in the world!!
6. when you talk about football do mention about david beckham..haha..


Guys..this is more than 55% correct..if you don't believe me..try THESE in front of gals..if you're lucky enough..you'll survive..hahahahaha..



RULES and REGULATIONS of PATIENTS set by SOMEone..

1. cannot eat fried stuffs..
2. cannot eat CHOC & ICE CREAM!!
3. cannot sleep LATE..
4. cannot walk under the RAIN!!
5. cannot drink cold drinks..
6. must seek medication help from DOC..scary..
7. must eat medicine and worse is cough syrup..yucks..
8. go for sports (my favourite)
9. must report yourself about everything above..
10. must drink lukewarm of hot drinks..
11. must bring umbrella (troublesome)


Set by UTP's future doctors..swt..sick isn't tat fun anymore like last time!!




Ps : am not stereotype..hehe..

a end or a beginning??

Finally..after hours of worrying..studying..reading..solving and explaining..physics test was way way over..

I still remembered since the day i got exposed to pure sciences..the most fearsome sub is physics among all the subjects..i dunno why..but tat's wat i'm really scared of for no reason..

Today's test..got 1 question relating the coefficient of kinetic friction 1..my answer was 0.25 and was expecting some1's answer same with me..but such expectation was really disappointed me..

0.75?? 0.375?? 0.5?? or 1.0?? no 1 really has the answer of 0.25..tat means i'm wrong?? even i told myself the probability of getting it correct still there but i can tell tat this is just a lie told by my own mind to myself just to have a better day right??

I mumbled to myself for whole day AGAIN..argh..i didn't even study my sports science which i nearly flunked it..but this world is always full of BUTs..but i managed to survive..

Stupid right?? think of 1 little question for whole day which leads to nothing at the end..

Just after the sports science..we went for futsal again and the match was fun *maybe 'cause we managed to score better than others* haha..


But the best part of the day was i lied on the court and closed my eyes..feeling the rain droplets from the sky..just tat moment..i was so relax..i wish i can be like tat for the rest of my life..feeling so great..


Then i came back and watched football..yup Man U lost and i no longer got the feeling d 'cause i'm so tired..really exhausted..i couldn't help myself but lying on the bed and collapsed again..

Study needs no talent..
1% of talent..1% of luck and 98% of effort..
tat's way right??

Ps : ignorance is always bliss..sometimes a "forgetful" solution is needed by everyone just to have better day..

silly me..

Few days back..i thought i have lost touch to physics..i was so frustrated tat i couldn't solve the question..

But tonight i only realize..i had solved it few days back ago!! the height is 3.6m instead of 36m..swt..tat's why i got the wrong answer!! screw the paper and the ink..haha..for playing illustration trick with my eyes..

Silly me go to think a lot of unnecessary stuffs..tat's me think too much..

HAPPY HAPPY..am so happy..i solved it..hehe..this is called the satisfaction of life..right guys??

I'm very easy to please huh?? haha..i can solve questions then i'll happy..


Currently so into jason mraz's "you and i both"..damn nice..

And finally i found got people like secondhand serenade!! tat's my favourite band..

Every songs is just like telling a story..telling a story thru' songs is a good way to express one..don't just listen to melody but to understand the lyric!! i like secondhand serenade songs!!

Damn..shit..my eyes are pain again..pity my eyes..gotta sleep a lot after my physics test!!

"Am fucking tired AGAIN!!"

Now feel better after shouting out..haha..
Gotta continue my physics but my eyelids are getting heavier..
Sat physics test..damn nervous!! how how how??
Am so doomed..

Nini~~~

I know it's so late for me to upload my photos from my sport science assignment..but it's better late than never right?? I've promised you tat means i'll do it..cheer up!! this is your reward..

I hereby present you the mascots of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games..

Beibei the fish..




Jingjing the panda..

Huanhuan the olympic fire..

Yingying the antelope..

Besides the mascots..i like the pictograms the most due to the contrast effect by gold and silver colours..thx mich for the gold pen..appreciate alot..

Wasted me for 3nights to finish one page of this..






So tat's all for today..
Sleep tight people and dream of nini~~
oh wait..
where's nini??
on the tree??

Nini~~ the swallow which i like the most..
the cutest among all right??
she finally tired of flying d..

Ps : all hand-drawn..no photoshoped..haha..

change..

Did i change?? my frenz who i used to hang along with said i've changed..do i really change?? maybe i've changed..into good way or bad way i have no idea..

This thing really tear down my mood just now..i dunno whether i'm correct or not..all of the sudden i felt very lost at the very moment..i was finding all sort of excuses to comfort and hide myself up but i failed to do tat..

But i'm trying to be myself..the true 1 and not to intimate and follow others..i wanna be myself but sometimes people always tend to follow others..

I think i've changed and whether it's a good transformation to be a better man or a bad transformation to be a jerk..i can't tell you tat..judge by yourself..




So who am i to you?? judge yourself..




I'm ok just tat i'm THINKING in my own world AGAIN..
tat's the reason why UTP made the thinking skill subject for foundation students..
don't worry..i'm not an emo guy..




Ps : not tat happy but still in happy mode..smile always..

just before i collapse

Just before i collapse wanna write about today..hehe..

Basically i was HIGH for the whole day which the highness has replaced my frustration 'cause i can't think rationally and scientifically to SOLVE questions..well i don't mean to complain but i was toooooooooooo irrational tat time..sorry..

Went to discussion room in IRC and shouted for 1hour ++ or maybe 2hours..hopefully we were not distracting those who wanted to study..hehe..

Today i was afraid of something..something which may not even be a concern of others but i was just scared of it..weird right?? this is wat we called ODD..

Wed is coming and i haven't done my Physics tutorial..so DOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

Poster presentation also tak sentuh lagi..tomorrow English reading test and sat PHYSICS test!! another hectic week but i'm happy..

Again am HAPPY for no reason..

Hectic life with happiness isn't tat hard..

Cheer up people..




"Who can solve me this equation?? i'll give you BONUS mark.."
By Ritchie with someone's tone..



Ps : my eyes are pain and tears are coming out again..tired!!

addiction..

OMG..get addicted again..can't stop thinking of the questions and solutions..Q&S Q&S Q&S!!

I wonder why is it so fun?? physics drive me crazy!! it's so tough yet i love it so much..hehe..coming saturday is physics test!! another D-day..sigh..

My frenz have just given me warning : remember to sleep!! don't sleep at 6!!

Oh well..am i tat forgetful tat tomorrow got lectures?? maybe i'm absent-minded and i'm weak and poor in time-concept..haha..

Tears are coming out from my eyes and telling me "boss~~ tidur lah~~" but my mind is working like hell!! 'cause i can't solve the questions..dulan right?? haha..nvm..slow people like me always need more time to solve Q unlike all those geniuses who are having gifted mind..

Sorry la..tonight is not a night to sleep BUT i'll sleep..don't worry OR maybe i mean i'll sleep during lectures haha..

Just few min ago..i just learned a lesson..think twice or maybe trice before you buy a secondhand books!! my physics book got a lot of writings and workings on it!! swt..hopefully someday the "doodling" parts can give me a hand to solve Q..hehe..

So tired and my room gets messy again..just in one night..it changes by 180 degree..lazy to keep la..let it be..haha..after all this is guy's room so don't expect much!!






Ps : so confusing now..it's way too COMPLICATED!! i didn't expect tat part.....

guess wat??

I'm awake now and just now went to eat kuew tiaw goreng at the cafe with edmund and wai chun..i was so blur when i woke up and they just dragged me along..haha..

Quite full now and i like the weather so much..especially a walk outside of your room which is fully occupied by your own washed laundry and as well as your roommate's ones..haha..

My room smells like Dynamo..fragrance smell just like a dobi..

Yesterday i slept at 6.35am which can break my RECORD here...hmmm..no longer proud with the record 'cause i got better 1 back in KL..hehe..please don't say me CRAZY 'cause i was cutting my drawings for the sake of my sport science assignment..

I like the mascots and as well as the pictograms!! i nearly fell asleep while i was cutting the paper and sir please don't mind if the cutting is sucks..haha..you can't blame me!! it was 6 in the morning and my eyes were quarter-opened..

Yet i couldn't finish with the decoration of my folio and i COLLAPSED..but pity ben li with whole night of the light turning on 'cause he woke up once at 5 something and asked "eh still awake??" LOL..

Tried my best to wake up late today 'cause it's sat man!! ben li woke up quite early which i didn't even give a damn in seeing the clock..he told me still got no water and tat gave me permission to sleep more to wait for the water..

I seriously desperate for a good shower and after..eh..i also dunno after how long and GUESS wat?? "got water d!!" oh man..i missed the shower so much just after one night without water in my hostel..

Continued my assignment..draw and draw..cut and cut..paste and paste..sms and sms..ate roller coaster and the rice from WC's senior..DONE!! and it was 2something d!!

Changed my shirt like the superman in the telephone booth and wtf!! no more clothes!! arghh..all my clothes were in the pail (but now on the hangers hehe)

Today's lecture was ok ok which i managed to stay awake..or maybe 'cause we chit chat and didn't care sir?? haha..someone requested to see my folio but today was the deadline..too bad BUT..

This world is always full of the word BUT..i took photos using edmund'd phone..haha..big apple huh??

Then went for futsal..was so lembik today..kalah teruk!! shame on me..haizzzzzz..however the drizzle made me happy..dunno why recently i like rain so much..

And today GUESS wat?? i cleaned my room!! surprise ya?? now my room is clean!!

Today was happy 'cause someone is being good for the week and i'm looking forward for another same weeks..this has proven tat i trusted the right one..



Ps : i'm awake!!

tired..

I'm so tired exhausted recently..people say i need more sleep or rest but the problem is i can't sleep well and sometimes i just don't wanna sleep..

It's coming back again..as you all know my sleeping habits are weird and special since in my high school time..extraordinary from others and this is where people call you CRAZY or MAD just 'cause you're different from them..

Currently managed to finish 2 major tests which are Chemistry and Engineering Math..hmmm..overall is an OK only and won't expect much from both side 'cause there are more people can score better than me..

My mum called me just now..she said my bro is worried about me..

Wat my bro concerned tat i'm living under stress at UTP..

Yeah..i admit there is some stress but tat's the way to make me improve..hehe and i shall say i love this place..maybe not..haha..

Now is 5am..don't be surprise..yeap tat's yuhan..he always awakes at this moment doing his own stuff which others think tat it's useless..

I wonder how can i turn my pure black and white folio into a colourful one?? this might challenge my creativity where i got tat "MUCH" of colour pencils..miss my messy crayon..

Feel like lying down at the field and staring at the sky without doing anything..

Ps : worst part of the day was bath with a bottle of mineral water..
Ps : best part of the day was feeling the breeze and the rain droplets of the night..

Ps : Nini can fly now!! no more walking..